When Rand Paul gets his hair done, he likes a tight curl and a loose grasp on reality. When they dye his hair, he enjoys how the toxic chemicals tingle his scalp and seep into his conspiracy-soaked brain. He believes QAnon is the cure for common sense. If Rand Paul keeps this routine up, his head will be condemned by the EPA and designated a Superfund site.
Rand Paul holds a PhD in pH deeds.